Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

Every Hearthstone Grandmaster Ranked By Backdrop

Every Hearthstone Grandmaster Ranked By Backdrop
  • Smoothness: How well the backdrop has been hung. There should be no wrinkles visible.
  • Colour & Lighting: How well the backdrop has been lit. Both gradient and even lighting is acceptable. The ideal colour should be an aesthetically pleasing blue with no murky greyness.
  • Composition: The angle and positioning of the backdrop, distance from player's chair and a number of arbitrary things I can randomly deduct points for so no one has the same score.

giving away backdrop tent

Also we are using backdrops mostly from week 1 but there were a few others that slipped through

Only backdrops are up for evaluation; the players themselves are ignored.

Didn't Even Try Hall Of Shame

Let's start by naming and shaming the players who didn't even try. Like, come on, guys - we're talking about the highest level of professional Hearthstone esports. We didn't tune in to see your bedroom wall, we came here to rate your backdrops.

Eddie.png

48th - Eddie
Smoothness: -10
Colour & Lighting: -10
Composition: -10
Score: -30/30

Light balance, colour balance, angle, contrast...not only is the backdrop missing, but everything else is dead wrong, placing Eddie dead last.

Ryvius.png


47th - Ryvius
Smoothness: -10
Colour & Lighting: -9
Composition: -10
Score: -29/30

Ryvius has a multitude of patterns going on in his background, creating unpleasant visual clutter. If only he had some kind of large, plain sheet designed to cover up all that mess.

Rdu.png

46th - Rdu
Smoothness: -10
Colour & Lighting: -8
Composition: -10
Score: -28/30

Lack of backdrop aside, what kind of camera angle is this? This isn't your Instagram, Rdu - be professional.

Fenomeno.png

45th - Fenomeno
Smoothness: -10
Colour & Lighting: -9
Composition: -8
Score: -27/30

Fenomeno gets a few consolation points for at least having some Hearthstone posters in the background, but they're somehow not even the most outdated ones there. The Watchmen graphic novel is over 30 years old and the film over 10 - watch something new, Feno.

BoarControl.png

44th - BoarControl
Smoothness: -10
Colour & Lighting: -8
Composition: -8
Score: -26/30

Some more consolation points for BoarControl, but I worry that it's unhealthy for him to be displaying a picture of Carnivorous Cube on the bedroom wall, since it's kinda like keeping a photo of the ex-girlfriend you're still in love with. I guess it's feasible he actually did put the backdrop up, but Billy the cat already destroyed it by the time his game started.

Jarla.png

43rd - Jarla
Smoothness: -10
Colour & Lighting: -8
Composition: -7
Score: -25/30

Jarla's fervently holding on to his poster of Jaina before she put on a vest top, and showing off his fat trophy in what can only be an act of insecurity. You're already a Grandmaster, Jarla, you don't have to overcompensate. Don't worry, we believe you're good. And that you wish full boob Jaina would come back.

Even though Jarla may be the winner of the losers, let's not forget that everyone in this tier is still in fact, a loser. That's a very important fact.

You Can't Lose Stars At This Rank

Amnesiac.png

42nd - Amnesiac
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: 0
Composition: 0
Score: 0/30

Although Amnesiac manages to escape the Didn't Even Try Hall Of Shame by at least having the existence of the backdrop, this sad attempt is almost worse than not trying at all. I don't know whether he thought he'd hung it in the right position only to sit down and realise he was off by miles, or simply threw it over a shelf then decided he couldn't be arsed anymore, but either way he probably should have asked his mum to help him out once she was done packing his lunch (do we still make kid jokes about Amnesiac? He's still only like, thirteen or fourteen right?)

What Have You Done Award

Frozen.png

41st - Frozen
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: -10
Composition: 1
Score: -9/30

Frozen takes the What Have You Done Award for managing to get a backdrop with the entirely wrong colour, coupled with an atrocious hang resulting in appearing to be sitting behind a shower curtain. He said something on Twitter about not being home to stream or whatever, but this is a list of rankings, not excuses.

Style Award

FroStee.png

40th - FroStee
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: -10
Composition: 9
Score: -1/30

Objectively, absolutely everything about this setup is wrong: incorrect angle, terrible lighting and what little we can see of the backdrop is wrinkled. However, it's somehow not too terrible to look at - in fact, the shadows, textures and colours actually comes across as quite artsy, leading me to believe that FroStee's hiphop album must be dropping in 2020.

Rank-25-Angry-Chicken.png

It's Called A Backdrop For A Reason

Bozzzton.png

39th - Bozzzton
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: 1
Composition: 0
Score: 1/30

StrifeCro.png

38th - StrifeCro
Smoothness: 1
Colour & Lighting: 1
Composition: 1
Score: 3/30

Purple.png

37th - Purple
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: 2
Composition: 2
Score: 4/30

Surrender.png

36th - Surrender
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: 2
Composition: 2.5
Score: 4.5/30

Shaxy.png

35th - Shaxy
Smoothness: 2
Colour & Lighting: 2
Composition: 1
Score: 5/30

Kolento.png

34th - Kolento
Smoothness: 10
Colour & Lighting: 6
Composition: -10
Score: 6/30

Kolento actually has a godlike level of smoothness in his drape, by far the smoothest in the entire GM league. Sadly, he cancels out all of those points by hard failing in composition. He might even have been in contention for first place were it not for this major flaw.

Rank-20-Shieldbearer.png

Wrinklers

My expression is identical to Justsaiyan's when I look at these backdrops. These wrinkles are more depressing than a Warrior mirror. Sort it out.

Justsaiyan.png

33rd - Justsaiyan
Smoothness: 0
Colour & Lighting: 3
Composition: 4
Score: 7/30

Hunterace.png

32nd - Hunterace
Smoothness: 0.1
Colour & Lighting: 4
Composition: 3
Score: 7.1/30

tom60229.png

31st - tom60229
Smoothness: 0.2
Colour & Lighting: 4
Composition: 3
Score: 7.2/30

Swidz.png

30th - Swidz
Smoothness: 1
Colour & Lighting: 3.5
Composition: 3.3
Score: 7.8/30

Dog.png

29th - Dog
Smoothness: 1
Colour & Lighting: 4
Composition: 3
Score: 8/30

Rank-20-Silvermoon-Guardian.png

Crossers

What's the deal with these weird crosses? I assume it's the framework of the backdrop but I don't know whether it's a lighting or draping issue. I don't like it though, and that's all that matters here.

Thijs.png

28th - Thijs
Smoothness: 3.5
Colour & Lighting: 2
Composition: 3.5
Score: 9/30

Nalguidan.png

27th - Nalguidan
Smoothness: 3
Colour & Lighting: 2.5
Composition: 4
Score: 9.5/30

Monsanto.png

26th - Monsanto
Smoothness: 2.5
Colour & Lighting: 3.5
Composition: 4
Score: 10/30

ETC.png

25th - ETC
Smoothness: 5
Colour & Lighting: 3
Composition: 3
Score: 11/30

Seiko.png

24th - Seiko
Smoothness: 5
Colour & Lighting: 4
Composition: 3
Score: 12/30

Rank-10-Ogre-Magi.png

Title

SamuelTsao.png

23rd - SamuelTsao
Smoothness: 4
Colour & Lighting: 5
Composition: 3.5
Score: 12.5/30

Casie.png

22nd - Casie
Smoothness: 5
Colour & Lighting: 5
Composition: 3.5
Score: 13.5/30

Bunnyhoppor.png

21st - BunnyHoppor
Smoothness: 5
Colour & Lighting: 6
Composition: 3
Score: 14/30

Pavel.png

20th - Pavel
Smoothness: 5
Colour & Lighting: 5
Composition: 4.5
Score: 14.5/30

Bloodyface.png

19th - Bloodyface
Smoothness: 5
Colour & Lighting: 5
Composition: 5
Score: 15/30

BloodTrail.png

18th - BloodTrail
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 5
Composition: 4
Score: 16/30

Rank-5-Sea-Giant.png

Title

Firebat.png

17th - Firebat
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 4
Composition: 5.5
Score: 16.5/30

Orange.png

16th - Orange
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 5
Composition: 5
Score: 17/30

blitzchung.png

15th - blitzchung
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 4
Composition: 6
Score: 18/30

che0nsu.png

14th - che0nsu
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 4.5
Composition: 6
Score: 18.5/30

Pathra.png

13th - Pathra
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 6
Composition: 6
Score: 19/30

Staz.png

12th - Staz
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 7.5
Composition: 6
Score: 20.5/30

PNC.png

11th - PNC
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 8
Composition: 6
Score: 21/30

Rank-1-Innkeeper.png

Title

Tyler.png

10th - Tyler
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 7
Composition: 6.5
Score: 21.5/30

Viper.png

9th - Viper
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 7
Composition: 7
Score: 22/30

Flurry.png

8th - Flurry
Smoothness: 7
Colour & Lighting: 8.5
Composition: 7
Score: 22.5/30

SilverName.png

7th - SilverName
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 9
Composition: 7
Score: 24/30

Glory.png

6th - glory
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 9
Composition: 8
Score: 25/30

Zalae.png

5th - Zalae
Smoothness: 8
Colour & Lighting: 10
Composition: 8
Score: 26/30

Rank-Legend.png

Title

So close to perfection, but just not quite there. These guys are truly legends, but not the champions.

Alutemu.png

4th - Alutemu
Smoothness: 10
Colour & Lighting: 8
Composition: 9
Score: 27/30

Alutemu's lighting or camera settings have just a little too much contrast, resulting in over-saturated colours.

Muzzy.png

3rd - Muzzy
Smoothness: 9
Colour & Lighting: 10
Composition: 9
Score: 28/30

Muzzy is so close to taking the trophy, but is betrayed by an almost imperceptible wrinkle over his shoulder. Still, if he manages to keep placing this high in future weeks of the league, then surely his consistent top finishes will pay off one day.

DawN.png

2nd - DawN
Smoothness: 10
Colour & Lighting: 9
Composition: 10
Score: 29/30

DawN displays a beautiful spot gradient in his backdrop, with impossible smoothness and the perfect distance behind him. He loses a single point in colour, which appears grey instead of blue.

And the winner is...

Rank-1-Legend.png

Title

Rase.png

1st - Rase
Smoothness: 10
Colour & Lighting: 10
Composition: 10
Score: 30/30

Marvel at the smoothness. Gush over the gradient. Treat your eyes to perfection. He's done it. He's really done it. He's won it all. No one else will ever win this hard at anything ever again.