Esports
Esports

If esports were celebrities

If esports were celebrities

Here's a question we're sure has long plagued you: What if esports were celebrities? And reader, it hasn't been easy, but as a very serious journalist I've done the research required to bring you those much-desired answers. Here they are. Here are the esports celebrity analogues. Enjoy them, please.

Dota 2

Kanye West

Yep, Kanye West. Why, though, would Dota 2 be Kanye West? Dota 2 is very sure of its own ability, its drawing power second to none. The fans follow suit, proudly exclaiming their love for the greatest esport in existence. Except, nobody else believes it. In fact, to most non-Dota fans... it's not very high on the priority list, to put it mildly. It's not a League of Legends or CS:GO, where even if you're not a fan you respect the esport and can fully understand why the fans love it so much.

League of Legends

Bill Gates

League of Legends would be Microsoft founder Bill Gates for one very simple reason: it is smarter than we will ever be. Even if you're not a regular viewer or player, you know League of Legends is smarter than you, as well as being delightfully likeable from the outside looking in. Not to mention, lots of money.

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Samuel L Jackson

CS:GO would be Samuel L. Jackson. It is everywhere. Seriously, try to find a week where there isn't a Counter-Strike tournament on. Samuel L. Jackson has appeared in just about every Hollywood film ever, and like CS:GO is always within a stone's throw. This isn't for no reason, either: much like Jackson, Counter-Strike is one of the greatest in the industry, loved and respected by just about everyone.

Hearthstone

Lady Gaga

Hearthstone would be Lady Gaga. It's random, you never know what's coming next, yet here we are admiring it as one of the greatest of its generation. A little out there maybe, but Hearthstone is undoubtedly one of the top esports in the world, despite people's opinions of it.

Call of Duty

The Rock

This one wasn't very easy. I was torn between picking something I absolutely adore and is universally loved, or being a bit more realistic about CoD's standings on the esports scale. So, naturally, I chose Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. An absolute powerhouse in his industry, the largest name in gaming. The two go hand-in-hand. However, much like how Johnson isn't the best actor in the world, Call of Duty isn't the greatest esport from a competitive standpoint, despite how popular and money-spinning they are.

Halo

Jack Nicholson

Isn't he dead? Oh, guess not, looks like he's still about. Jack Nicholson was, once upon a time, one of the greatest actors in the world. Much like Halo, however, he's faded into obscurity. To his credit, he hasn't worked for nearly a decade. Conversely, Halo dawdles on, seemingly under some kind of revival but only time can tell if it will work. So no, Halo isn't dead, and neither is Jack Nicholson. Let's count our blessings.

Overwatch

Nickelback

Overwatch is very clearly the Nickelback of the industry. (I'm sorry, I know it should be one celebrity, but this was comparison was far too apparent). Despite how fun the game may be, many esport fans opt to dislike it for a number of reasons, primarily due to the fact that it seemingly came from nowhere and esports was thrust upon it with little to no real competitive direction. It was the industry's choice of esport, much like Nickelback became viewed as a corporate indulgence with little musical diversity or talent. The music industry simply picked them as the poster boy for rock music, and here we are. Not that Overwatch is too worried – they're making millions, and having fun whilst doing it. Maybe you think Dota 2 is more of a Tom Cruise, or that Hearthstone is definitely Theresa May. Whatever it is, tweet your thoughts at us and we'll promise to at least read them.